bad day

juz realised something abt myself...i'm giving myself too much stress and expectations for work...
haix...today hasnt been a good day...lost a letter at work...not tat impt but to me, gosh, how i possibly lose something like tat?!?! i blame myself for being so incompetent and ineffective...argh....
sitting down and tinking abt it, i feel like crying...in fact i already had..of all pple, i had to cry in front of my bf..gosh we hadnt talked for some time and the first thing i do is to cry..weak...real weak of me....
felt so suffocated..not tat my superiors are giving me stress...they are helping me alot but i keep worrying tat i'm not dng my best and when i make a mistake, i kinda stumble and spit on myself...to pple, i look like i have not a care in the world, but its not so...i tink...and i tink alot...tats bad...
do you feel like being led around by the nose at times? tats how i feel sometimes when my colleagues tell me wat to do and to their timing too, even though i'm up my neck at times..c'mon i need to breathe too!!! so get off my back on wat i "must" do and "when" i muz do things!!!!
guess i need a break..gosh i realli need a break to work on my assignments too...God give me good time management and wisdom...i need tat to complete my assignments well and on time...sigh...
my last few sentences of grouse...i miss my bf...esp during this time...i need his shoulder to cry on...sigh...